Behavior Modification
How this can continue is beyond human comprehension.
Now I am being told that every time I laugh a tone making people depressed is going to be played and, I am told my own family is doing this shift to me!
They are doing the worst things and, they shift responsibly to their victims.
I am not doing anything but, trying to take care of my responsibilities and, continue to survive and, try to better my life and, the lives of people I care about.
In 2021 they did something so terrible to me and, I continue to pay the price and, be torn down for things that I did not do.
I am not a child molester, not anything even remotely close. I am not a cruel person. I do not like to hurt others in any way. I love to laugh and, be happy. I mind my own business and, I love my children and, myself. I am tired of being torn down. Picked in for everything under the sun.
I am a recovering drug addict so, I smoke cigarettes. That apparently is unforgettable. I am so sick of all of the drama and, mind games. Every single time I amnhapoy, doing what I can to better my life, taking care of my responsibilities, I get shit on.
To know my own family is part of all of this is killing a part of me. I am becoming afraid of people around me afraid to be happy. Worried that something is wrong with me and, that is why people have decided not only to do this to me but, lento me about it and, keep away from me.
I amnso hurt and, it doesn't stop. I am not the only person they are doing this to.
I have overcome more than anyone should have to. Lived through things that nobody should every have to entire and, I am still able to love and, live. Still able to move forward in life despite the soul crushing things that I am told every single day.
Nobody and, I mean NOBODY should ever have to hear that they put themselves into situations where they were raped. Nobody should have to listen to people making fun of them for things that were done to them! I am sick of hearing that I shouldn't be alive or, that I should kill myself. How people can't be happy or, how their problems would go away if I were dead! I amna person too. Despite being called "it" or, a man or, any number of the things they call me, told that they aren't doing this to people just to "Jennifer Butterfield" who isn't a person!
I get told how I should stay with John or, to trust John, who has lied to me and, about me from the day we met. I know that very lite, if anything, he told me about himself or, his family was true. I am not sure I know anything about them. To be told to stay with someone or, how he did the best he could with what he had to work with when he drugged me, rapes me, let others hurt me, put me in positions where he could pretend he was the victim and, tell me I am just crazy is so sick it makes me want to vomit. He once told my brother to call the police on me because I "am hearing voices of people who aren't there!" He told me not only does he not hear any voices but, that he has never known anyone who has gone through what i am going through. He is an abusive con man, plain and, simple.
He swears he never did anything to hurt me and, that if I left him I would be arrested. Calls me every name in the boom fir cheating on him, swears he never cheated in me even though I found videos of him with other women. He, to this day, tells me that I am crazy. "If you just tried harder to maintain" or, how this is all drug induced or, that i need to get in medication.
Things he told me about himself and, his family were actually about some of the people I can hear. I once heard him swear that he didn't tell me the things that he did. Not a complete surprise since, they have said their "plan" was to say that I have been doing this to these people and, that is owning know things about them. That is the kind I f man that I escaped from. For anyone to tell me that I should trust him or, go back to him makes me sick. He is not a good person and, I am divorcing him. I so not want him near me, my children or, in my life at all.
I am not sorry to be the person I am. Not upset to be living in a homeless shelter, not ashamed of it either. I am grateful and, happy that I have been able to make changes in my life that have brought me this far. I was recently told the reason they "made me homeless " was because I would kick John out when the abuse became too much and, he would have to wander the streets homeless. That is a complete lie. He was never even outside wandering around. He is a womanizer and, had plenty of women that he ran to. I would listen to him picking fights with me and, telling others how I wouldn't take the bait and, fight back so he couldn't leave. Just say you want to go dude, I would have held the door open for him. Don't play games with my head and, heart because, no man on the planet is worth losing your sanity over.
It hurts to know that people who tried to help me gain enough strength to leave John are now people telling me to go back to him. It hurts to know people who loved me and, tried to help me or, who told me to not let him come back have been victimized because of their live or, concern for me.
John is a bad man and, I have had to try to work through the trauma and, abuse the best I can. He would say things to me then, try to convince me that I was the one that said them! I would watch him do things then, listen to him try to convince me that what I saw wasn't what happened! I know people would hear my voice when he talked so, that was partly why he would teh to say that I said these things. He has been part of all of this since BEFORE I ever met him.
I listen to people, some who I have known for most of my life and, be told things like "we used him because it would hurt you the most!" Told things like "who do they all connect back to?!" It is very obvious that the plan to blame me goes back for a very long time. Told things like this is my fault because I am the reason they are hurting people.
PEOPLE ARE DYING. To them though, it isn't a big deal. They "killed themselves" "survival of the fittest!" They feel as though they bear no responsibility for the things they are doing to others. All of their problems would go away if I would just die. Only, I don't want to die. I want to live a happy life. I want to share my life with friends and, family. I want to feel safe and, be able to live someone without hearing how "I will never be able to believe anyone could love me." How I am not worth loving.
I am tired of being attacked. Told how disgusting I am, half of the things they say make me so disgusting are caused by them. Probabky more than half. Told how I am a lesbian because, I am not interested in sleeping with most of these people. More than most of them in all honesty. I don't know why they even say anything like that. Thousands of times a day I am told how nobody wants to sleep with me or, how people aren't interested in me. How everyone hates me so much. I don't get it.
I know own how to be a friend without sleeping with someone. If someone is in a relationship, I have zero interest in them like that anyway. I will be the kind of friend that is happy for you. Even if I don't like the person my friend is with, I will get along with them and, wish them nothing but, happiness. What more could a true friend want for their friend?
The abuse is so far beyond anything that anyone should have to deal with. Nobody should be treated like this. These people are horrific. "John Butterfield is the best you will ever do!" Is what someone just said to me. Really?! What the duck is going on?
Then, I get told how isn't what was just said. Yes, it was exactly what was just said. They do shot like that all the time. They do anything they can to make sure I am hurt. I can't defend myself half the time because, they cover up things that are being said and, I am left guessing or, responding to the abuse and, I have no clue if it is really what people are saying or, not. I was told and, continue to be told that I would not have reality and, there are a lot of things I question.
It hurts to be told horrific things and, unsure who to turn to for clarity. Normally, I would turn to my mom or, others I trust but, so many times I am told how it's all in my head or, that I am crazy or, things like that. John told me if I kept talking people I hear voices and, all of this that I would never get my kids back. Moat people tell me I need mental health help! I have been traumatized and, hurt badly and, I am sure therapy would help however, I am not crazy. I am not schizophrenic. I am being attacked and, so are a lot of other people.
They use my heart and, love to abuse the ever loving shit out of me. I am told how it's my fault for loving people. They wouldn't attack people if I didn't love them, if I wasn't nice to them. Told they attack people who have kind thoughts about me.
I have had a crush on someone since I was a kid. It isn't a secret. One of these women married this man, when I was happy for them and, didn't think about him she dumped him and, started having seizures with a lit of other men. When I think about him now, she goes nuts and, demands I leave "her property" alone. She only has an interested if I have an interest. I am not surprised since in the beginning I was told that any man I was interested in would be the only man she wanted and, how I would never be able to keep a man because, she would "take them all!" How that is how she knows she is the "better woman" because, she can take someone else's man! Disgusting. If he can be taken then, he isn't the man for me anyways.
I am sick of all of this. What part of people are being murdered is escaping so many people who can hear all of this?
It's always me being blamed for not doing enough to stop them! Told us have to go "right now" to chase someone down and, I don't get it. What part of this is difficult to understand? I have asked hundreds of people about this, my own family included. Only to be told how crazy I am. I am not going to chase anyone down. That isn't who I am. I have tried to meet a lot of people I hear and, fir whatever reason, it never works out. The women I have talked to tell me how crazy I am then, pretend I am harassing them. The men don't show up or, like the friends I have had, spend ti.e pretending they don't know anythjng.
I have had to piece a lot of things together. Spent a lot of time listening to them to try to figure out what is true. I have remained honest about what I have heard and, how I feel about the people I hear. I have tried to protect myself, my children and, others by making sure that the thi gs I know are true are things that others know as well. My priority is protecting the people I love. I am sick of everything I say becoming so sick and, twisted. If I care about you, I do my best to protect you. Even if it is someone I hear this way. Since I am not allowed to be someone that people care about, anything and, everything I say is wrong.
I am sick of hearing "Michael Dominguez told you the truth!" No, he did not. Not even fucking close. These people do not want to admit they are fuckong horrible. Not all of them. Some of them continuento try to do the right thing. Some of them are trying to help me survive. Some of them have tried to tell me the truth while others do everything they can to manipulate my world and, it isn't just me they do this to.
"John Butterfield told me the truth about you!" Hahaha haha riiiiiiight! He has manipulated so many people. Hurt so many people. Lied to so many people. All to get them to hate me. To get them to help him kill me. He used to tell me how he "loves me TO DEATH!" and, I have no doubt that he has tried to kill me. He drugged me so many times that it didn't have the same effect in me anymore! I can't tell you how many times I have been told that. He die unspeakable things to a lot of people.
He would tell me things that "happened to friends of his" and, i would hear dead silence then, someone would speak up and, say how he was talking about ME! THINGS THAT WERE DONE TO ME. Things he woukd also do to me. He has raped other women besides me. He was sent to prison and, his mom got him put early. When I asked him about that he told me i am crazy and, to ask his mother, she would tell me the same thing. He told me that a lot. He used me from the day we met and, I loved him. I let the devil into my world and, I loved him and, trusted him for a long time. He is a very bad man.
The things they are trying to cover up or, blame me and, others for are sick. They "found others to cover it all up though!" In the beginning I was told how they were insulated and, how they wouldn't be caught. That was during the time that they were adamant that John's family would go to prison and, Angela would be the "only reality he had" because, she tried ti tell him how fucked up everyone in his life was. How he would "go crawling back to her!" I guess his solution to that was just to have sex with every woman and, man he could find to prove her wrong. He sure showed her. I used to listen to her cry every time he cheated in me and, it wasn't with her! How she wanted her man back. Her property back. SHE NEVER DATED HIM. THEY WERE NEVER IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH! He used to defend her all the time though. Tell me how she dated someone else for 14 years and, she was happy when he married someone else. WRONG. She never dated him either and, she did and, probably still does this to them. She said that she did this to another couple but, her mistake was, according to her, that she let the man hear what she was doing and, he helped his wife. She was proud ti tell me how she fixed that mistake. How she was doing this to John too, he just couldn't hear her!
She/they, for a long time were proud to tell me what they were doing. How the things they were and, are doing proved they were "the better woman" and, how nobody would ever believe me. How nobody listens to fat bitches like me! They underestimated my ability to get people to listen. I have remained honest as well. I already know if Iie about any of this, people won't believe what I say. I keep trying to tell people what is being done. It helps that others can hear them as well. Helps that others can hear what I hear. That way it is clear I am not lying. It is also clear when I can't hear what they are saying, someone else know that too.
The things they say are so foolish. So insane and, so sad at times. How is it so important if someone likes me? Someone thinks I am attractive? Someone is kind to me? Why does that bother them? Why does it matter so much who I let into my life? Why do they do things to destroy that person too? If Michael Dominguez is such a great guy, why does he introduce me to people, tell me kind things about them then, start to tell me horrific things about them?
The last person I started to get to know, I started being told to "pick a better man!" Only, this person is a good man. We talked and, I liked him. From the moment we started talking I heard he had a girlfriend. Then, recently I was told that Candy, Michael's mother, said she would help get him together with someone who has been doing this to me. I have no clue if he had a girlfriend when we started talking but, I know he has lost interest in me for various reasons and, I am not interested in anyone who is in a relationship so, it doesn't matter now.
It is just like the man he introduced Ed me to prior. One moment he is great. We got along and, I loved him. He was easy to talk to, funny, kind. I didn't believe he would hurt me and, I told them that. Why would someone I got along with so well want to hurt me? They were adamant though. In person I was told how he was the kind of guy that you would end up on jail because of. Told how he drugs women and, rapes them. Told "that's just who he is."
I ended up in jail and, so did he. I wasn't in jail because of him though. I will not talk about our personal relationship or, things that went on between us. HE DID NOT RAPE ME THOUGH. I want to make that very clear. I have said this already, he did not rape me. I believed and, I still believe that we had something that was good. Something loving and, that we were manipulated and, hurt because of it. Jealousy, same as they said about John and, I in the beginning of or relationship. I am a good woman and, I am not afraid to love. Not afraid to to people I love them. Not afraid to be loved.
Together, we shared some really happy moments. Things probably would have been a lot different if it wasn't for them. They admit to calling the fire department. Admit to removing his free will. Admit to being the reason we were arrested. Admit to being happy we got arrested. Their attack on the people in my life and, the people who love me has become so terrifying that I am unsure what to do. Some of them hold positions in the community that make it difficult to get others to believe me. Women admit to soung things to get the attention of these men. They set them up, pretend to care, buy them things, throw them out and, keep something so they have to come back and, get whatever it is they kept. Anythjng to get their attention. They work in teams so they can say they aren't doing this to get a man, they just have someone else do it for them. Manipulation. I can't imagine what it would be like to wake up next to a person knowing that I had to remove their friend will and, manipulate them just to get them to be with me.
I know they set up the person I went to jail with. Without a doubt, even before they admitted it! They brag about how they wanted to see what it would take to get him away from me and, how it didn't take much! It's funny to them.
People I considered friends and, who introduced me to both of these men, gave me a choice. Pick him or, us. I loved him and, I picked him. Our lives have been hell since then.
Everything they do and, say is designed to destroy my self esteem and to keep people so hurt, depressed, controlled that they are unable to get away from the abuse. To hurt me so badly I can't recover. That is the kind of people they are. Evil. Cruel. Narcissistic. Deranged. They deserve the death penalty and, when caught, are eligible for it.