Gaslighting and Domestic Terrorism

I am sick of being abused. Sick of being told this is my fault. Sick of it all.  They use my kids to hurt and, humiliate me to the point that I can't handle anymore. PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ABUSED TO DEATH.  I have done nothing to my children or, anyone else. I am sick of hearing "then why are they doing this to you?!" TO KILL ME. They are proud of what they have done. They brag about it! I am constantly told how I should be ashamed or, embarrassed.  THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED AND, EMBARRASSED.   It's all mind games and, somehow it's all placed on the victim. It's my fault for buying into the abuse. I did this to myself! I wanted them to do this to me. I must have liked being raped because, I didn't turn them in. Let me be very clear. I do not enjoy being raped. I did not want to be raped. When I was told what they did to me in 2021 I actually heard a woman say she was jealous. That she wanted to be raped! They brutally attacked me. Did horrific things to me. Vil...

I am so humiliated and, hurt. I can't handle anymore.

I did nothing to any of these people. I amnso sick of my head being so fucked with that I can't take anymore. I have never been more hurt or, humiliated. Treated like shit so badly that I can't handle it anymore. I hate being alive. I hate every single day. I am too worthless for my own mother to want to tell me the fucking truth. I am sick of hearing things like I wanted to be raped or, how happy they are to have raped me or, how someone gave their son a high five after he raped me. I can't take anymore. Anytime I try to believe that someone might believe me, they start to hurt me too.  I am nothing like they say i am. I am not abusive or, a child molester.  They admit every day the things they have done yet, I still am hated and, take the blame for all of it. Told to trust someone who abused me worse than anyone else did. I can't believe that they abuse me and, say whatever they want and if I say anything back, I am the problem. I am always the bad guy. Even people he...

I am not sure how these.people can't understand what they have done. How hard is it to get? I don't know where to turn for help. I don't know what to do. I fam barely look at people sometimes. They say they show all kinds of horrific things they have done to me and, it isn't my fault.  All of it is my fault. If I hadn't been born this wouldn't have happened to anyone, that's what they have told me. It's my fault that they did this. It's my fault for not being able to trust anyone. It's my fault that I asked for years and, the people I trusted the most lied to me. It's my fault my kids hate me. It's my fault people died.  Everything is my fault. 

Nobody should ever be told that they will never again be able to believe someone could love them. Then, over and, over get made fun of for love. I don't understand why people are not allowed to joke with each other without someone starting in about love or, sleeping with someone.  I am already starting to wonder what is wrong with me. What I have done to be put in a position where I am constantly harassed about my kids or, why one person's name is used so much that I almost cringe when I hear it.  Then they start in with the way people look. Who gives a fuck how people look? We all look different. We all find different things attractive. I amnsick of hearing how fat I am or, told to not look in the mirror.  I get told not to think. Told not to talk to these people. Not to joke. Pretty much everything I do is wrong. I keep trying to figure things out. The constant pushing, forcing me to do things while verbally and, mentally beating me down to a place where I start to feel...

How this can continue is beyond human comprehension.   Now I am being told that every time I laugh a tone making people depressed is going to be played and, I am told my own family is doing this shift to me! They are doing the worst things and, they shift responsibly to their victims. I am not doing anything but, trying to take care of my responsibilities and, continue to survive and, try to better my life and, the lives of people I care about. In 2021 they did something so terrible to me and, I continue to pay the price and, be torn down for things that I did not do. I am not a child molester, not anything even remotely close. I am not a cruel person. I do not like to hurt others in any way. I love to laugh and, be happy. I mind my own business and, I love my children and, myself. I am tired of being torn down. Picked in for everything under the sun. I am a recovering drug addict so, I smoke cigarettes.  That apparently is unforgettable.  I am so sick of all of the ...