My Daughter

My Sophia,

I am so l, so sorry that I let people into our lives that ripped us apart and, hurt you and, your brother so much.

You are a beautiful and, smart young woman, so quick to say what is on your mind and, fearless. You are not supposed to be let down by your own mother. I wish I could have understood what was real so I could have helped you through all of this. You deserve to have a happy, safe life and, to know that your mom would never have let people hurt you. I didn't know this kind of evil lived in this world and, I had no idea how to fight these people. Grandma and, Grandpa, they know how to fight this and, how to keep you safe from their hate.

When you were born, life became more than I ever thought it could be. I am and, have always been proud to say I am your mommy. Your the kind of woman that I would hope to be more like. Filled with kindness and, not afraid to be yourself. You know what is important in life and, I know you will be able to teach others that the things that we value most in life aren't things that we can take with us. They are things that we will be remembered by. 

I admire your strength. You were fearless from the moment you were born. A fighter from day one. There are always going to be people who are jealous of you and, who want you to fail. What they have done though, what we have gone through because of them, nobody should ever be treated the way you have been. 

I am sorry that I let their hatred of who they are as people and, the way they used you to hurt me so badly that I let the anger and, pain talk over the love and, admiration I have for you. This shouldn't have been something people can do to each other and, I should have been stronger than I am. Nothing that anyone has in the universe should make you feel like they are somehow better than you. We are all meant for different things. We all are good at some things and, bad at others. As long as you try, you are already succeeding. 

Don't lose faith or, hope in others. I failed you, your brother and, myself and, if I could find more strength, I would. You are so quick to show your love and, affection to people and, I want you to remember that you should be proud of that. You and, your brother should know that it is ok to show people your feelings. Never let anyone try to change who you are. 

It will always be ok to trust and, love people. It will never be on to use that trust and, love to hurt anyone. You are not wrong to feel that way about people. They are wrong to use those feelings to deceive you. The softer side of you, the side that gets excited about the little things, the side that wants to meet people and, explore the world around you. The side that makes you want to show people what makes you happy, not everyone will deserve to know that part of you. Just be careful and, know that not everyone needs to know everything about you. Some people will use it to hurt you.

Try not to let people change how you see the world and, how you fit in to your world. Show kindness and, a smile. Help people when they need help, even if they don't ask for it, you can always ask them if they need help. 

Whatever you do, do it with passion and, joy. You will always succeed if you find what you can't stop thinking about and, make the world pay attention to why it makes you feel that way. You command people's attention just by being yourself, they will listen when you talk and, I know you aren't afraid to talk to people. It is a good thing to talk to people. One person or, a large crowd, you can change the world with your words.

You and, your love of art and, music, you leave me in awe of your talents. I love you Soph a load and, even if Ali gets frustrated or, needs his own space, he loves you too. Don't give up on him, he won't give up on you, even if he needs space. Sometimes, we need to be alone to remember who we are. Never be afraid to be alone, it's where you will be sometimes. Be your own best friend and, learn to love yourself. Things you may not think are perfect about you, may be someone else's favorite thing about you so, do not ever put yourself down. Don't point out something you don't like about yourself to yourself. When you look at yourself or, think about yourself, remember we all can make improvements, be kind to yourself.

I love you my baby girl, I always have and, always will. You were my biggest surprise in life and, the best surprise by far!