Jennifer Butterfield Was A Mistake
Jennifer was a nothing. These people brutally attacked her and, treated her like she meant nothing. They called her the most abused woman in the world and, the perfect victim. They placed the blame for everything they did to her and, to others on her. She felt guilty for being alive when so many others died because of their hatred for her. They used her voice, her name, her life to kill and, nobody could stop them. She wanted to live and, she couldn't anymore.
She would have always needed help. Always needed affection and, she would have needed someone to be there for her. Someone she could trust to tell her the truth. Someone who would be patient during the times she would become frightened that people were going to hurt her again. Someone to remind her that she is a person and, does deserve to be alive. Someone to help her fight for her children. She would have needed too much. She would have become an obligation, a burden. That is what her mother and, the man she married believed about her. She heard her family, many times, complain that they would be stuck with her for the rest of their lives.
Stuck with this thing that nobody wanted around. In the end everybody hated her. She knew it was true. After all this time the only people left in her life, in person like she was a person too, kept telling her how much they hated her. How they didn't want her. They changed their mind about wanting her around. She was too hurt. Too weird. Too broken.
John hurt her so much more than anyone will be able to understand. Her family had to have known. She tried to tell them but, they had their own lives and, they didn't have to deal with her. She needed too much. Needed to know why she wasn't a person anymore. Why people chose to only talk to her in the same way they were hurting her. People didn't want to be around her and, she needed people around her more than anything.
She didn't know who hurt her. They told her. They told her that everyone she meets she will wonder if they did this to her. Told her how everyone has seen her naked, seen her being abused, her being raped, drugged, abandoned. Watches her beg for help. People threatened her life for a long time. Since John went to jail and, ultimately prison, she has listened to people say she should die. Even before that, they were telling her to kill herself. Why wasn't her family there? Why did they leave her when they knew what was going to happen to her? She would have given anything just to be able to wrap her arms around her kids, like she used to, just look at them and, tell them she loves them. Why didn't her mom want to help take the pain away? Why didn't she come any of the times she said she would?
Jennifer loved her children, she loved them until there was no more air to breath and, even after that, she loved them.
These people told her she didn't and, she can only hope that they didn't believe the lies. These people knew exactly what they were doing. They knew what each word would do. How to cause the most pain and, they planned to hurt as many people as they could. The plan, long before I met John, was so clear to her but, drugs somehow prevented people from believing her. Maybe that was part of the plan too. How anyone can say this wasn't done to kill Jennifer and, so it with a straight face is beyond anything in this world. This group wanted to hurt her. They wanted to kill her and, there is no other explanation for the way that people have treated her.
Her mother got upset with her for loving people who raped her and, said there is a recording of it. When Jennifer asked in a normal way, over the phone, text, her mother denied knowing who was hurting Jennifer, how she was being hurt. She told Jennifer to check herself in and, get mental health hel if she believed people were hurting her. She knew people were hurting Jennifer. She told her none of it was real. How do you tell your child one way that all of these things they said they did to her are things they did then, tell her in a different way that none of this is real and, pretend to not know anything? She knew Jennifer has little to no memory of being hurt the way they said they hurt her. Why didn't her mom offer support? Jennifer was nice to these people. For a long time, she didn't believe they hurt her the way they said they did. She defended them and, tried to understand why people would say something so terrible. Something meant to strip away your self worth. Something so intimately violating and, keep saying it, when it couldn't be true. Now, after three years of convincing her it happened, they tell her it didn't! They made sure she knew every detail of what they did to her, how they held her captive, made her do things she would never do, made sure she knew that the man she believed was the man who would be by her side for life also knew every detail and, that he helped everyone get away with it all. They made sure it was in her brain forever that her own family raped her and, there was nothing she could do about it.
Her uncle waited until he knew she trusted and, in some cases loved these people before he told her every single thing that person did to her or, her children. He told her she couldn't make very good decisions if these were the kinds of men she chose