Why Won't Anyone Help Me?

I hear a lot of people blaming me. I hear people asking me if I have any idea what is going in it, if I know who people are.

I hear a lot of drama and, things being drug out fir so long that something that should take 15 minutes, takes two hours. 

I hear a lot of questions coming from my own mouth. I don't hear a lot of answers though. At this point I find that alarming. Sometimes, a lot of times, the answers just magically come to me as if I am a psychic or, a liar that asks questions that I know the answers to so that I can "pretend" that I don't know what is going on. I don't actually know what is going on. 

I have heard that people don't believe that and, that is why my own mother lies to me. They are trying to prove that I know something I don't ir, I did something I didn't. They don't live my life and, I am having a very difficult time believing that anyone cares about my life. 

They care how they can use me. They care what they can get from me, a reaction, ect., they care because they believe they can keep their freedom through me. They can not. If I die or, they prove whatever it is they are trying to prove, their fate is the same. Mine isn't. 

The longer this goes in, the worse my life gets. The more hurt I am getting. The colder and, meaner I get. The more "lessons" I get taught that are actually from something someone else said or, did, the more accusations I get from my own fucking family, the more I am aware that I am going to die.

I am tired of hearing "that was Angela too! Tired of listening to my own family defend her and, Tracy and, act like all of this is normal.

I am sick of being told what I am supposed to think. The more they demand who and, what I think about, the less I am able to think about what they demand. I don't know why. It isn't something Inam trying to do. They just bring up the same things a billion times and, I can't handle it.

I guess I am supposed to just kill myself. Fine with me. AFTER I DIE ARE YOU GOING TO REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TORTURED ME TO DEATH AND, THAT I WAS INNOCENT IR, ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE TO PRETEND THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING AND, THAT I AM JUST A LIAR?

I guess it's the second one. I have lost my entire family. I hate my brother and, his bullshit accusations. Since it is so funny to hurt me and, I will never be able to get anyone to bekuev me,bInam giving up 

I am so sorry Alex and, Soph. I tried but, I needed to be able to believe in things that clearly are not real. Things that people can not do. Please try to understand, I love you both so much and, if I could survive, I would. I don't understand anything and, I am so sick of begging for help and, getting lied to more. I made too many mistakes and, trusted that people would know I am innocent. I'm sorry.b I just can't handle whatever is going on anymore. I'm sorry and, I love you both so much!

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