I CAN'T REMEMBER AND, I CANT BE STRONGER

Put the phone down and, beg for forgiveness for not remembering us!

I can't remember the things they tell me happened. I can't remember the people they say I not only met but, had a relationship with.

Now, John's mom, Tracy, sounds like she is being super caring. I hear her voice saying she doesn't want me with anyone until I get help! She helped do this to me, why pretend to care now. She has told me to kill myself so many times! I am thrilled to hear someone say that it wasn't her and, she also said it wasn't her but, yes, it was!

I am sorry I just can't be stronger. I needed help and, people to be patient. Maybe a little understandung instead of hearing people tell me I am faking and, continue hurting me. 

"Be stronger than the abuser" or, "Br stronger than the abuse!" How?

To hear people say my mother is upset because, she apparently is the person telling me she doesn't want me with anyone. I guess she couldn't tell me that in a way that makes me understand what is happening. 

How can people hate me so much? 

I don't even bother to try toet people know that I have been trying to talk. Let them pretend I don't exist and, that everything I say comes from other people. 

I am so sick of hearing how I don't care about my kids or, that I am a child molester. I literally do not care about a lot of people anymore. Why bother? They will just lie to me and, blame me for what they have done to me. 

I am sick of hearing that nobody wants to sleep with me. I don't give a shit. At all. I hate these people and, they clearly hate me.

My transformation is complete. I am now everything I hate. Why the fuck would my own family do something so disgusting to me?

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