YOU WEREN'T RAPED

That is how fucking disgusting this group of murderers is. They have fucked my life up and, lied to me so badly and, now, even though they have admitted what they have done I am being blamed.

I should have known when push came to shove, all people would do is blame me. I am so fucking tired of being alive. Tired of being lied to. Tired of hearing about poor baby John and, how badly I abused him! Because of him I am done. Add in these other people in was stupid enough to have trusted only to sit here and, listen to them out me down in every fucking way possible. A big thanks for never talking to me in person, clearly there was a reason for that. 

I give up. "Where is Sophia when you are out being a whore?!" Fuck this life. This is how people treat someone who needed help. Wait, let me correct that, this is how people treat something. 

I am sick if listening to people tell me that Tracy didn't do this. Sick if hearing how I am jealous of Angela because she is now with someone I loved. Sick to death of being told how people are moving in without me. That was why Angela was setting this whole group up, "they all moved on without her" fuck this. 

I can't take this anymore. I am so sick of being abused by people I trusted, people I loved. Lied to by my own mother. Kept in the fucking dark about every fucking thing there is. 

I get it, nobody gives a shit about me. You tell me every fucking day and, night. Why bother telling me you live me when all you do is tell me that you hate me, that you never wanted me, that I wasn't raped. Why the fuck would I believe anyone gave a shit when this is what I am told every fucking day. Nobody wants stove around me, that much is very clear so, there is no reason for me to believe anyone gives a shit. 

Fuck this. I wish I hadn't been fucking born. Now you tell me that my mother is abusing my daughter and, using my voice to do it! Are you fucking serious?! I am so tired of never understanding why everyone hates me so God damn much and, why this has been allowed to go in for so fucking long. 

I hate being alive. I hate myself so God damn much that I have to give up. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I beg for help and, John has a used mensi God damn badly and, now you tell me he is depressed. Why the fuck k should I care about someone who has destroyed my life? He is sick as fuck. 

Don't try to say you said my mother in law. I am done trying to believe that this might end it that there is anyone who can help me. I have to give up. I can't take this anymore. Why not be around me then? Oh, wait because you hate me and, I am a lazy worthless bitch who isn't worth being around, just like you told me all night long. I'm not worth caring about. 

I am sorry to my children. I love you both very, very much but, I can't handle any more pain. I have to give up. Nothing I do will ever be good enough. I can't handle not knowing what the fuck is going on in my own life. There isn't a way to undo all the lies that they have not only told about me but, pumped my head full of. I a. So sick of all of this. I can't deal with this anymore. 

I am sorry I am a drug addict. Sorry that because I am a drug addict they got away with killing people. Sorry that they sabotage me and, I needed help in person. I needed support and, to know that people didn't believe all the lies. Instead, they clearly do and, nobody wants to be around me. "Ask her why she isn't. allowed over here!" I don't fucking know! I am sorry but, I give up. I can't take anymore. 

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