I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELUEVE

I give up. Something must be very wrong with me for even my own mother to lie to me and, tell me she doesn't know anything. 

I will never let myself be terrorized again. I can't tell if anyone knows what they are doing to me or, not. Nobody will talk to me. I am not allowed to have anyone talk to me in person and, fuck being alive. 

I have to die. That is the only way to get away from them! Tracy told me that. She killed people, I don't know why nobody could just talk to me. I don't understand anything. I can't handle anymore. NO MORE but she won't stop. Stupid cunt. 

Fuck life. You think it's funny to dive someone insane? This is funny to you? You hurt me so badly and, you laugh?! You killed me for Sophia? You killed me for Sophia?  YOU FUCKING KILLED ME FOR MY DAUGHTER! YOU KILLED ME! 

I didn't do anything. You killed an innocent thing. You tortured an innocent thing. YIU KIKLED ME FOR MY DAUGHTER? WHAT DID I FUCKING DO? FUCK THIS! 

I AM NOT A CHILD MOLESTER, I AM NOT THE WAY THEY SAY I AM.  THEY KILLED ME. THERE IS NO LIFE LEFT. THEY HURT MY KIDS. THEY USED EVERYONE AND, I DIED. 

I DIED AND, MY OWN MOTHER DIDNT FUCKING CARE. WHY DIDNT ANYONE TALK TO ME? ALL THAY SO IS BLAME ME AND, HURT ME! WHY DIDNT MT FAMILY BELUEVE ME?

NOTHING IS REAL ANYMORE. NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO GET BETTER. I CANT TAKE ANYMORE. NO MORE. NO MORE BUT, TJEY WONT STOP.

THEY SAY EVERYONE HEARS THE SAME THING. WHY DID YOU SAY YOU CUT MY DAUGHTERS NIPPLE OFF OR, THAT YOU MOLESTED HER? YOU, TRACY, SAID THISE THINGS. YOU SAID YOU MOLESTED HER AND, TWO IOTHER KIDS. YOU SAY THE MOST GORRIFIC THINGS TO ME AND, I AM DONE BEING HURT 

I can't have anyone in my life. You hurt them too. You murderer people and, blamed me for that! You are disgusting. By far the ugliest hag I have ever had the misfortune to meet and, Angela Tracjeski isn't any better. You tortured me because you didn't get married! Stupid bitch! 

I don't fucking know why these men are all you think about. You say that's me but, it's you stupid. You used to cry and, beg for an attorney because they all thought about me more. That's all you kept saying! That's how stupid you are. 

I can't take anymore. You say you have proof i hurt my kid. Where is it cunt? I have asked you for it for five years. Where is it? You had no problem showing everyone very private things about my son! You showed people child pornography if MY SON. SAYING IF I KNEW DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ITHER THAN YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON STUPID.

I am not sure why you hate me so much. You whine about your "poor son" being hurt. Fuck him and, fuck you. You make your son sound like a baby! I hate being alive because of this fucking bullshit thing you have done to me and, my children. You call this a "gaslighting" you named it right! 

Everyone can be mad at me. It would have been nice to fucking know why you killed me. That would have been amazing. Not to be though. You just make sure I know how long you have done this to me and, all the things you have done to all of the people I hear and, then let me hear them all hate me and, blame me. So fuck this. I can't handle any more. 

All I asked for was someone to talk to me in person. You blame me for cheating in jiJihn while he was in prison, he gave me away and, told me it was ok. What would have happened to your fucking PLAN TO KILL ME if I hadnt cheated? Since he has been back i have not cheated, not once. You accuse me of it but, I did not. 

He said he got out August 2022. He swears he didn't get out one minute earlier. You hurt me too much. You keep telling me what you did then lying about it all. I am tired of being threatened. You threaten me while you torture me and, I have lost everyone. YOU CIST ME EVERYONE. ALL YOUR LIES. I can't handle more abuse. Everyone hates me anyways. I love hearing that every day. I can't handle this. I needed help and, everyone just keeps blaming me and, leaving me. Nobody wants me, fine with me. I don't want to be me and, I don't want me either. Every God damn day you tear me down then, I have to hear that I don't have enough self esteem! I get told I don't smile anymore but, you punished me for smiling. You hurt me so fucking badly and, I don't have the strength to keep going. 

I get told how I didnt want to get help because, I couldn't go outside and, track people down?! I have been outside, in the hallway and, wherever else. Nobody is ever there. People aren't even who you say they are most of the fucking time. 

You have spent all God damn afternoon telling me how you abused my daughter and, how I lost my son! I can't take this anymore. I hate being alive. I hate myself so fucking much and, I didn't do anything.

How did I make your son a drug addict? You used to tell me how he made you a drug addict. He says that you made him one. I don't give a shit about either of you but, you are so sick that you won't leave me alone. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING.

Why won't you stop? It's not like John ever fucking gave a shit about me. If he had actually loved me it would maybe he different. Instead you tell me he married me because you told him to. That he always cheated on me. WHY WONT YOU STOP AND, LET ME HEAL AND, MIVE FIRWARD IN MY LIFE. YOU ARE PREVENTING ME FROM BEING WITH MY CHILDREN. YOU ARE KILLING ME.

I can't take anymore pain. You have demolished my life and, then I get told you can't be caught because I am a drug addict. Only, you already admitted to sabotaging me. You demand I go to rehab so I can be locked up and, you will stop and, then say that I have been the one doing this! You have said that so many times.

You also have hurt me when I try to quit. You poisoned me so you could say that I was on heroin. I can't take anymore. 

I am sorry that nobody could talk to me like I was a person too. I don't understand why I had to die or, why all these people hate me but, I can't take anymore. 

You wanted to prove that Angela didn't do this alone and, I just can't take anymore. It is all too much. You tell me bike disgusting things while I have literally nobody to help me understand any of this. What the fuck is going on? 

You can't be caught because I am a drug addict! You have killed people and, it's my fault because you couldn't be caught? You had me terrorized, kidnapped, raped and, whatever else happened and, then I get told I wasn't raped. Told I have to take one for the team and, I can't handle anymore. I am sorry that whatever is going on couldn't be stopped because of me. I have already been told that if I hadn't been born you wouldn't have had to do this at all. I can't handle anymore. You killed people I knew! You said you were going to hurt my brother because he hurt me and, then you killed his brother. You are a serial killer and, you finally have hurt me so badly I can't take it. 

I destroyed my life. I have no future. I listen to people tell my mom I am being tortured and, they say they proved it to her but, she still lies to me and, to make it worse, I get told all of this is being done because I am mean. I didn't do anything except listen to you beat me down for over five years and, nobody can be nice to being tortured. You tell me that it was me being mean that made people kill themselves! I can't handle the guilt, the trauma, the loss of my children. I'm sorry, I can't handle this anymore.

You did this out loud, to my face, more than once! You killed me and, nobody could do anything but lie to me and hate me. I know other people did this to but, you were my family and, you hurt me children. You hurt us too much and, I give up