Imagine What It Felt Like To Pretend To Love You

Nobody will have to pretend anymore. 

How stupid of me to hold out hope that I wouldn't have to die. Life isn't worth this. I don't want to live remembering how hated I am. Remembering how I wasn't worth talking to about this. There is only so much I can handle. Only so many times I can ask the same person about this. One minute I am being beaten down for asking too many times, then beaten down for not asking enough times.

My life has become a nightmare. I am sick of being made fun of. Sick of being so depressed. I guess it was funny to hurt me this badly. Funny to lie to me and, pretend you couldn't heal me. Funny to make me realize just how pathetic and, worthless I am. Getting off drugs didn't do anything. There have been plenty of times someone could have sat me down and, talked to me. Now, you don't have to worry about me remembering what has been done to me and, my children. You can blame me for whatever you want. 

Every single thing they said they would do that did. I am not worth keeping alive. I am sorry I had ever hoped for help.

I can't handle this anymore. I am deeply sorry that people didn't believe me. I just cant keep going.

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