Fuck This

I am innocent. Not that it matters. I have never in my life been so humiliated and, hurt. Everything I do not, say has been so twisted and fucked up.

They used my kids names to hurt me so badly I can't connect their names to them. I can't picture their faces when they talk about them. There is a huge disconnect and, I have said this almost every day for at least a year. In December when Tracy dropped my daughter off to spend two hours with John and, I she then accused both of us of molesting her! I heard her talking my mom that if she took her back to the doctor she would definitely show signs of abuse. They even went so far as to say that she has "a spot where her nipple USED to be!" When I ask myom though, she just tells me that I am crazy, like everyone else.

I am sick of this and, sick if being terrorized. Sick of everything in life. John would lie to me and, his mother would scream "now you know what it's like to be gaslit in person!" As if I named whatever this fucking shit is. I AM NOT A CHILD MOLESTER OR, CHILD ABUSER. I give the fuck up though. I just don't care anymore.

I am sorry that I told Angela she would be arrested for doing this to people. Clearly it is all my fucking fault. I tried to tell John what they were telling me, he didn't fucking care. He set me up so many times and, I hate that I ever gave a fuck. 

ANYONE GOJNG THROUGH THIS DO NOT EVER TALK BACK OR, DO ANYTHING BUT KISS THEIR ASS. IF YOU SNAP BACK OR SAY ANYTHING IT WILL BE USED TO KILL YOU. EVEN THINGS YOU DONT SAY OR THINK, JUST KILL YOURSELF RIGHT AWAY AND SAVE L YOURSELF THE PAIN AND TRAUMA THAT NOBODY WILL GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYWAYS.

EVERYONE HAD YO HATE ME SO ANGRLA COULD HAVE WHAT SHE WANTED. EVERYONE YAD TO SEE ME THE WAY SHE DID. SHE WAS PRETTY COEAR ABOUT IT. JUST LIKE SHE WAS COEAR THAT SHE DIDNT HAVE TO TELL THE TRUTH SINCE SHE WAS GETTING EHAT SHE WANTED WHY SHOULD SHE. THESE PEOPLE KILLED AN INNOCENT PERSON AND, MY OWN FAMILY FUCKING HELPED THEM. I DIDNT DI A FUCKING THING AND, IT DIDNT MATTER. MY OWN BROTHER ADMITS HE ROOFIED KE AND, HE GETS CONGRATULATIONS FOR IT. THIS IS BY FAR THE SICKEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF. THERE IS NO REASON TO HAVE HOPE 

EVERY MINUTE MOVEMEBT YOU MAKE IS ANALYZED AND USED AGAINST YOU. DONT BLUNK, DONT THINK. THE TRUTH WON'T MATTER. NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT THEY WANT MATTERS. 

FUCK JOHN FOR ALL HIS FICKING LIES AND, THE WAY HE PICKS FIGHTS AND, I GRT BLAMED FOR IT ALL. I ORAY THAT NOBODY RLSE EVER GORE THROUGH ANYTHING OIKE THIS. NOTHING IN LIFE IS WORTH THIS. THEY WERE ABLE TO LIE TO ME SO MUCH THAT I CANT RISK BELIEVING. IF I TRY TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS OT, TEY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING IN THEN THEY JUST TELL ME I AM NOT CONFUSED! WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO TELL YOURSELF TO SLEEP AR NIGHT. IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE.