Every Life I Am In Is Worse Because I Was In It
They do this shit to people and, it destroys lives. It is sick and, nothing and, nobody will ever be able to stop them.
John didn't want Angela back in his life. He said she was hard enough to get rid of the first time and, he was happier without her in his life. We had a future. At least I thought we did. Now I have nothing.
Everything I told some bitch that hijacked my fucking head has come back to destroy me. No Ody can do anything to displease her. Everything about her life that she didn't like it, anything she was told that she didn't like, I have paid for. Others have paid as well but, that is my fault.
I told ANGELA that no life she touched was left better. No Ody she has fine this to is better off. She has fine this to everyone. Not that anyone gives a shit.
People I live are being hurt and, I have to sit here and, listen to them blame me for things that I have no control over. Things that I haven't done. Over five years of this.
There is no reason for me to have hope. There is no reason for me to continue living. All my life does is hurt people. Then, I am supposed to apologize. They told me in the beginning that I was already used to taking the blame so, it didn't matter. I will never be able to fix the damage they have done and, it isn't mine to fix.
Everyone blames me though. I hear it all day every day. People I love and, care about crying. I am sick of begging for help when everyone blames me. They tortured me and, because I am a drug addict nobody would help me. I have heard it too many times to give a fuck now. "Quit drugs" even though it was made clear that wouldn't make anything change either.
I sit here listening to this shit. If I go somewhere else I am not good enough and, I will be torn down so why bother. I am not wanted anywhere. I don't belong anywhere. Nobody can do anything without being hurt by me apparently. My life only hurts people and, I hate being alive. Even my fucking mom has lied to me about all of this. I am clearly worthless even to her. Fuck all of this. I hate myself for even trying.