I Am Stupid

Nobody believes me. When I tell people that I do not know what happened to me, that whatever they did, I do not remember. I do not remember who helped save my life and, I do not remember who hurt me. I only make people I thought loved me, hate me. I do not know why I loved and, trusted someone. I only know that I believed they didn't hurt me. I only know that I love them, I don't have a clue why. I didn't even know what they looked like until tonight. They kept telling me that he was someone else. They kept telling me the man I kept thinking about was his uncle, not him. 

Tonight, he keeps saying things that were said over and, over to when this started. He keeps telling me I love someone else. I don't know why nobody believed me. They just don't and, nothing will explain how bad it hurts to hear him say terrible things about me. I loved him. I kept defending him. Now I know there isn't anyone out there that cares.

I defended him. Every day. Every time they accused him, I defended him and, he didn't care. I know it's funny to make fun of me for not being able to remember. They blame him for everything and, I kept defending him. I truly, with all of my heart loved him. Now, I feel even worse. I feel like the stupid bitch they keep telling me I am.

They are accusing me of terrible things. I can't defend myself. I don't know what happened to me. What kept me hanging on was that I believed someone out there still could see me as the person I am. I was wrong. I am exactly what they say about me and, I give up. I'm such a worthless piece of shit that I don't want to try anymore. What's the point? 

I am sorry I can't remember what happened to me. Sorry that I didn't want to play ball and, so whatever this is their way. They actually told me if I ever want to know what happened to me I have to do things their way! I only wanted to know what happened to my children. After tonight, I don't care what happened to me. They told me terrible things about this man and, I didn't believe them. After listening to what was just said about me, I can't take this anymore. I was stupid to have believed in myself. I don't anymore. I hate being alive. I hate myself. I am too stupid to understand anything and, I give up. Go ahead, make fun of me some more. I just cant care anymore 

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